Father's Day is coming!

In just one week it will be Father's Day again..... I'm reading the book (well the Kindle virtual book anyway) "Funny Sh*t my Father Says." A few of the funnies from the book:

On breaking the Neighbor's Window for the third time;

What in the hell is the matter with you? This is the third time! You know, at this point I think it's the neighbor's fault...No not really, it's your f'ing fault, I'm just in denial right now that my DNA was somehow involved in something this stupid.

On appropriate times to give a gift:

Yea, I got him a gift. He got a kidney stone taken out. If you shoot a rock thru your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the f'ing back!

On selling his beloved 1967 2-Door Mercury Cougar:

This is what happens when you have a family. You sacrifice. (pause) You sacrifice a lot. (long pause) It's gonna be in your best interest to stay away from me for the next couple of days.

You may not see the humor in just a couple of lines from the book, but it's pretty funny.

As for Father's Day coming up, I think about a few things.....

Danny, the man that I PROMISED 20 years ago, I ONLY wanted one baby (we all know how this one turned out), the man that has made me laugh, cry, scream and dream for so many years... Who taught me to shoot pool, drink Jack Daniels (although with diet coke instead of water like you), spent countless hours in the sun at Wind Point Park, shoot a shot gun (remember I DID miss you that day in Crockett, although not by much), washes dishes and reminds me that it does not take every pot and pan in the house to boil water, snores like there is no tomorrow, still wears a Speedo, gave up 12 long years to make sure the kids didn't miss anything while I worked, puts up with my Choctaw trips, shopping sprees, messy closet...the list is endless....thank you! And Happy Father's Day Week...I love u!

Danny's Dad, Douglas, Papa Doe, Dosey: He taught me to play canasta, and I caught on to he and Uncle Doug cheating fairly quickly. He fished with me a few times and was such a neat man who loved his grand kids more than life itself. He'd hide an Easter Egg, no matter what the weather was doing. Fed cookies to squirrels, wore overalls a lot and used to get this "WTF" look on his face at times, but NEVER say a word. Sure miss that man. Hugs to you in heaven...

As for you Daddy....you taught me to like green plums, fish (including putting any kind of live bait on a hook), slide down the fire station pole, inherited your feet, and taught me to ride my ponies, using a goat weed on his behind to keep him focused. Your attempts at making me have anything to do with cows were NOT a success...remember the time you told Carla and I to stand between the truck and the pond and not let the cows run thru? How fast did Carla and I bolt, when they headed our way? You were DETERMINED to teach me to drive the VW, and here we go, sitting beside the house, I pop it into reverse, you in the passengers seat, and we both look back, I ease off the clutch and we lurch forward, into the fence. Least I helped you bend it back! I still eat mustard on my steak, just like you, even though everyone else makes a face at me. And for that matter, I believe steaks cooked at home are far better than any restaurant could ever be! Although we are far away, and rarely slow down for a visit, please know that I love you and wish you a Happy Father's Day Week! We'll see you next weekend, I promise.

Pam